It was a good feeling...
for the time being...


x/3
I miss so much people... so much shit in my life.
I really miss my abuela, and I really hate my moms..
Always asking me "do you remember what happened?"
-__- of course imma remember that shit, im scared for life.
I could tell you everything that happened like it was just a hour ago.




I just dont find much use of my life anymore..
I feel like im just a object or like a time bomb that could go off at any minute...

I still remember the day when you died.. even though I was young and im 16 now. I remember the whole phone call & my mom droppin the phone crying and me running finding out what happened. That was the worse night of my life & then 3 minutes after telling my brother what happened. Mi tia came home after just from seeing her a hour after the phone call she walks in and we tell her what happened and she breaks down crying at the door saying before she left you were all smiles... I cried, I cried.. I cried. I remember the first song that came out was I wish from R.kelly, Korrie reallyyy cried everytime he heard the song cause he thought of you and the one for me was Angelito from don omar, Id look to the sky and wonder why you gave up the battle.. you've won other ones but I guess it was just your time.. You also got a new great grandson TJ but im sure your watching over him and us.. I miss you grandma one day ill see you though. I love you.

Even though sometimes I wanna kill you,
Id be the first person to breathe life back into you <3

iloveyoubabe'

Well if you havent known, my father is a sperm donar of 4 kids, 3 girls and 1 boy. None of us stand him, we all hate him. Well my life begins here, I havent seen my brother and sisters for like.. years and I mean years the last time was maybe 3 probally. And now I just got a phone call from them cause I never had their number, deadass I could pass them in the street and not know them or even hook up with my own brother cause he dont carry my fathers last name no more. Thats how fucked up my life is aowww. And the thing I really hate about this... I got a neice that I never saw, But im gonna see them this week they like 15 mins away from me too BY BUSS! like wtf... Anyways I dont give a damn now just happy I got to talk to them. And for my sperm donar father who thought Id never get to see them. Oh and im sure your wonderin how my fathers a sperm donar, ha lmfao. Mmkay dude was never around for me and only decided's he wants to see me when I was 13 and im now 16 and hes seen me maximum 5 times and for the whole time I got 10 dollars from him and get this.. my sister ayesha yea, shes the same age as me 16 my birthday in april hes september, now tell me whos the sperm donar in this case ;]

you fail at life once again.

Cause I just left my dude a msg... and yes I was stupid I should of called instead but whatever I left him a msg.. and his mom read it before him lmfao... and my moms pissin me off.. and I wanna go clubbin tonigh but im not sure if I can SOOO. If you got a gun please be helpful and shoot me :)

SHOOOOOOOTTTT ME GOD DAMNIT.

We fight, make up & kiss, but I dont think its like that time around. I dont wanna feel stressed anymore I just cant take it. I run from my problems with my family to you cause your the only one I can find comfort in and someone who I can trust.. well I probally dont trust you no more. You ever cry so much over something that you just cant cry no more.. you just feel cold and just finished? like finished with everything. I cant deal with it no more school, family, boyfriend. Its so bad that I feel like a job is the only thing that might keep me sane. I feel like giving up theres no more I can do for us. I put in EVERYTHING I can excluding openin up to you which I dont to any & anybody. You pretty much just proved everyone right about us when nothing was wrong.. but aye.. to be honest.. I blamed myself saying "yea you shouldnt have opened up cause you knew what would'a happened" & then on the other hand I blame you saying "I trust you.. so I found nothing wrong". I dont know whats wrong but damn.. I might need help cause im cold hearted... it hurts that im loosing him but on the other hand bucha people done' walk out my life so its pretty much like a routine to me "/ ....

So yeah, im done with niggas who get pissed off at petty shit. Im doneee, you can fuck any bitch on the block holla at any bitch you want I quite frankly dont care. I must say you actually had the balls to say "if you dont got nothing eles to say then stay quiet" lmfao? and who the fuck you think you is? thought you'd get the last say in this shit, didnt you? yea I popped off. You disrespect me best believe ill blow your heart to peices. Once you disrespect me believe imma come harder cause I dont take shit from noone. Fuck what you gotta say and FUCK YO' FEELINGS. Fuck being your girlfriend, fuck sittin there waitin hours on you & you come back with the lamest excuses. Fuck your attitude towards me, & fuck your whole being towards life, you aint shit.

now, I got that shit off my chest...

I laugh at niggas who act like their still in pampers.


- Kosharrie.

Im tired of trusting you, im tired of hearing the words "trust me", ive done to much trusting you. I feel more than you & its fact so dont try and prove other wise. Im at the point to where I dont believe you anymore, I dont know this shit seems to be consuming my mind. I have a gut feelin about things & yet I still seem to be ignoring my feelings when im always right about them, I dont wanna' say im in love...

Who say they only had sex once, who the fuck you think you fooling -___-. Its funny they say they only had sex once & then they start reveling little details telling you that they had sex more than once.


Whoomp, you fail.

I got a new template for my blogspot, so im workin on that kthx

Hi blogspot fans, sorry I havent posted up a blog lately, I have but its pictures of my nephew, if you peep under this one you will see but enough of that. I need some vitamins or iron in my body fuck that I need both. I get tired fast and im enemic. Im gonna try & stay up tonight even though im sure my body wont let me & I think my cold is comming back - I NEED SOME STRONG ASS DRUGS. I feel like I cant put the peices of my life back together & the peices are falling one by one & theres no glue strong enough to put it back together. I think maybe thats why im feeling so drained out. I wish I could not worry about alot of things, ive let go so much that I just dont give a fuck about much lately. One thing im really tired of is just putting my feelings out & feeling scared of having the the feeling of love knowing its going to slip outta my hands at anytime. Anyways I ramble on to much im gone for now goodbye my loves <3>

list seven songs that you are into right now. no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your summer. post these instruction in your blog along with your seven songs. - PS, I got this whole thing from TINY SMALLS.

Let me breathe, move your lips away from me.
I dont want to breathe the same toxic air as you
I dont need you, your broken
& while I sharing the air with you
unfortunetly I was breating the left over debris.


I want to breathe fresh air
air that wont intoxicate my system
I want air that wont kill me while im sleeping
I want air that wont leave my heart bleeding



I dont want no more lies
lets just burry them deep within the earths core
I dont wanna be burried down with so much lies
that I feel like hell & my heart is burning.
I want to dig my feet deep into the sand
& lay back with my heart free & hurt no more.

How do you say this..

Him: so this is how bein in love feels like.
Me: what does it feel like
Him: I cant discribe it.

you only scared to die
when you aint living right.

- Talib.

How bitches really think I care. Let me make this clear for you guys once again I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. Its my life, I dont regret anything I say to you, if I said something that offended you im not sorry, its how I feel and im not gonna take it back just so YOU, could feel better. Its just how Iam take it or leave it. If I dont like you I wont give you the time or day to TRY and get to like you. I dont give a fuck what you got or what you been have cause it means shit to me. Now back to my life shit, dont tell me what the fuck is good for me because whats good for you, might not be good for me so take your shit & digest it back into your stomach. I hope I cleared this shit up for you guys ONCE AGAIN. & this will be the LAST TIME.

Your not man enough. & you'll never be.

& my throat still hurts, but im sure its strep throat :( but aye what can I say but thank god for my mommy, she made me caldo de pollo con bolitas de platano shits maddd yummy to my tummy. Its freezing here & whatever nothing to do so im really bored & what not. Yeah.. so uhm.. I guess you can say it was a pointless blog but it was good for someting.

I've noticed that well forget noticed.. i've just been thinking, have I been making the wrong choice in the love department for years? - pushing away the wrong person, giving a whole bunch'a attitude towards him. He really cares about me & telling me im making wrong choices with guys. Hes also been telling me I need to stop botherin myself with these niggas who dont care much about their self or their future - I need a guy with their head on straight. Have I been pushing that guy away for the past like 2 years now? Even though ive been doing that hes still here. Hes been telling me I need to take the stick out my ass & realize whats good for me...


Im starting to think hes right..

Me: I want that damn bag I need a damn job
Him: Come have lunch or dinner with me and ill take you to get that bag
Me: I aint got no money ill probally ask my dad tomorrow.
Him: I said ill take you to get the bag so ill pay for it.
Me: ....
Him: I aint like the broke niggas you deal with.
Me: I dont care about money cause I aint no gold digga.
Him: You aint gotta be a damn gold digga to get a damn bag



Lmfao.. is this nigga serious?

I dont know why im doing this,
If im only hurting myself...

Omg plan for now & next year?!
LOOSE WEIGHT FOR PROM *____*
so that means eating right.
and probally hitting the gym for me.

like this, you know like.. your so
"in love" that like you feel so free like just nothing left & your just empty & loves taken over you & you just start day dreaming? Yeah I hate that feeling cause I know its going to end soon. Look at me I sound like a mushy mushy girl.


AHHHHHHHHH :S



Its whatever, sometimes I wanna kill him
sometimes he wants to kill me ♥.


we got that love/hate typa' relationship.

New month, new season. I got up this morning with my hair all wild & a new fresh scent in my house. Hopped to the kitchen and made myself some hot chocolate with little marshmellows :) that shit was mad good. Theres a picture at the bottom if you havent seen lol I burnt my lip a couple times trying to get a good shot. Anyways its 1:47 PM and im abit bored. So im probally going to go on the nylon magazine site & look for fall fashion. That reminds me I need a red jansport bag and about 2 beanies for my head (:

goodbye.