I hate to admit it but yea im "in love". I hate that my mom was hardly around to show me the kindda men to stay away from, I hate my dad for not being in my life & then trying to pull me away from my brother & sisters. I hate not getting the loved I deserved and now im getting it im scared im gonna loose it. To you it might seem complicated but to me everythings set in stone...

I hate christmas cause its not the same without my abuela
& then again noone can afford what I want for christmas ;/
so dont even ask what I want -__- unless your "god"

tyvm.

I control mines call it presidental
I'm on a killing spree, murdering all these instrumentals
Lyrical Manslaughter verbally don't push me
Eight legs wide open call it Octopussy

Him: You the type of girl that always stands tall & then falls
Me: I dont fuckin care cause imma be gettin up again on my own like ive BEEN doin
Him: When you fall again imma just laugh at you
Me: Ya and ill get back up again on my fuckin own and point n laugh at you



Niggas are all the same, spit games & then a couple weeks later end up with a "wifey"?
nigga you wack & your whole life bein is wack go swallow a nine and die slow.

Its crazy, I think im addicted to the pain, heartache, & the confusion. You dont want me doing things... but yet you do them & it gets me so mad. I cant tell you cause I know you would flip out about it, all my mind can do is referr to this, sexual thoughts. I say "I need to get all this confusion out my head, I need to stop thinking about this" and all I can think about is just KISS HIM, FORGET ALL ABOUT IT - thats the only way. So I do that.. and whats so bad is that, its actually working.. my minds free of those thoughts & im getting a different feeling..

"I try to sell some weed but smoke everythin except the seeds"

Well I havent posted a blog for a couple days now and right now things are going good and I wont worry for how long... on saturday I went to chelseas party it was mad crazy :) and yeaaa. its 9:39 right now and I sorta feel tired. My school well all grade 11's and yes we dont got grade 12 but whatever ya grade 11's are all going to this other school to learn how life skills and jobs you might wanna do, & deadass im gonna look at photography :) blahhhh I unno what to write so yah im just blabbing on so goodbye.